Too Young
by cheersweetie
Summary: On their graduation night from the academy, Jaina and Zekk take a step that neither one of them are completely ready for. JZ short story. Please read and review! Completed!
1. Mistake

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or these characters.**

**This fic was inspired bya scene from the movie The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (which is a great movie by the way). It got me thinking about writing a more realistic "first time" story than most. Be warned, this first chapter is a strong PG-13. This will end up being a short story- only 5 to 10 posts. It's J/Z and will be kind of angsty, but I hope everyone enjoys it. Without further ado...**

**Too Young**

**Part 1-The Mistake**

It was our graduation night. We were finally leaving the Jedi Academy on Yavin Four to pursue bigger and greater things. I was going off with my aunt Mara to be her new apprentice, and my twin brother Jacen was going back home to Coruscaunt, to train under our uncle Luke. Our future was looking bright, like a glowing ember burning in the mass of the great fire of life. Nothing could stop me.

That evening Uncle Luke was hosting a grand reception for all of us young Jedi Knights who had passed our trials and were ready to move on as apprentices. There was plenty of food and fun to keep the parents and the students entertained, but my mind was somewhere else.

Glancing across the room, my eyes locked with his. He smiled just a bit to let me know he saw me and then he began to slowly make his way towards me. Zekk. My handsome, funny, rebellious boyfriend. Tonight was our night.

Once he made his way over to the small circle of people I was standing with, he leaned down and gave me a sweet kiss on the top of my head, slipping his hand down to rest at the small of my back. I could see my father eyeing him from his place between myself and my mother. It's not that my dad didn't like Zekk, he just wasn't completely sure if he could trust him with his baby girl. Zekk was two years older than me, making him eighteen, and just a short year before had been the Shadow Academy's Darkest Knight.

That had been a difficult time for Zekk, but he had overcome his inner turmoil and came back to the light. I'm convinced that the day I saw him resting in a bunk here on Yavin Four after he led the attack on the academy was the day I fell in love with him. I was only fifteen at the time, but even at that young age I could see that he truly was a remarkable man. He fell to the Dark because he didn't feel like he was good enough for anything else, but he came back for me. He could have killed me on that fateful day, but he didn't. I think that was because he realized then that he loved me too.

I was swiftly brought back to the present when I heard someone say my name. Looking up I saw my uncle Luke Skywalker, hands clasping Jacen's shoulders and a big grin on his face. "You must be pretty excited, Jaina. Leaving tomorrow to go off with Mara. I sure wish I had a chance to spend some quality time with my wife right now."

"Farmboy, we have years of quality time left to spend. Can't I have just a few months alone with my favorite niece," Mara said from the place where she had walker up to, slightly behind Jaina.

"Aunt Mara, I'm your _only _niece," I could hear myself saying, a big grin on my face. I really was excited about going off with her. Mara and I always had a good time together and I couldn't think of a better person to be my master.

"What about you, Zekk? Are you excited about your next move?" Mara asked the young man whose arm was wrapped around my waist.

"Yes Ms. Skywalker, I'm looking forward to what the future brings me," he answered politely and slightly nervously. We were _both_ looking forward to what the immediate future would bring us. "But I am going to miss not having Jaina around all of the time to keep me in line."

I blushed a bit at his comment as the others around us laughed. I was going to miss all of this; the camaraderie and friendships we had built in our years here at the academy.

"You two will just have to make the most of your last night together then," Uncle Luke said with a grin. He meant it in a harmless way, but both Zekk's and my face flushed of all color. Did he know what we had planned?

I felt a slight pressure coming from Zekk's hand on my back. He was letting me know that everything was okay; no one knew about what was going to happen later that night. "On that note, I think I might just steal Miss Solo away for a few moments. Jaina, would you like to dance?"

I smiled up at him; he could always make everything better. "Of course. If you all would excuse us." We received a few nods from the group before Zekk and I stepped onto the dance floor hand in hand. "I hope they don't suspect anything. It could ruin tonight."

"Everything is fine, Jaina. Your uncle was just making a joke. But if you don't want to, then we don't have to go through with it."

My brown eyes flashed up to his emerald ones. "No. I want to, really. I'm just a little nervous."

Zekk brought his hand to my chin and tilted my face upwards. "It's okay. I'm nervous too." He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. "You know I love you, right?"

I smiled against him. "Yeah, I know." Stepping away from Zekk, I gave him a big smile before I walked away. It was time.

I walked back to the circle of my family and friends near the food table. They were laughing at some corny joke or another that my brother had just told and didn't even notice my arrival. Taking hold of my mother's arm, I said, "I'm going to head on back to my room now. I still have a lot of packing to do."

"Are you sure honey? I could help you pack up later."

"Thanks mom, but it's okay. I want to get to bed early tonight anyway."

"Well then, have a good night princess," my father said before he hugged me and gave me a kiss on the head. "We're very proud of you and your brother."

"Night Dad," I said before turning back around and heading for the exit.

By the time I had reached the student quarters my pace had quickened. I passed by my bedroom and headed down the hall to Zekk's. We had decided that it would be smarter to do it in his room because I had an adjoining room with Jacen. We didn't want any surprise entrances tonight.

As I reached Zekk's room, my hand faltered slightly before reaching for the door panel. Why was I so nervous? We had discussed this for weeks now and decided that tonight would be best. It would probably be our last chance for awhile.

Gathering up my courage I entered the room. Glancing around, I took in the familiar setting. It was sparsely furnished, with only a small desk on the left wall and a bed and chest on the right. Scattered around the room were a few loose nick nacks and spare parts, very similar to what you might find in my quarters.

"So, you were able to escape."

I jumped at the sound of his deep voice behind me. I could hear the door shutting behind us and the lock clicking. I could feel him wrap his arms around my waist; kissing my neck. Trembling slightly, I brought my hand up to brush his arm and turned into him. He kissed me, slowly at first and then he deepened it, running his tongue over my lips. I nearly fainted from the sensations he created with his kiss.

All to soon Zekk backed away, putting a few inches in between the two of us. "Jay," he said softly, "are you sure about this? I only want it if you do."

I nodded my head; it was all I could manage to do since for whatever reason words were evading me. "Zekk," I cried softly before crushing my lips against his.

He brought his hands back up and slowly unbuttoned my flight suit. Underneath it I had intentionally worn the only semi-sexy underclothes I had- a matching black lace bra and undie set. I had felt silly putting it on this morning, but now from the look on his face I could tell that he liked it a lot.

Still mustering up every last bit of courage I had left, I began to unbutton the front of his shirt. I was having a little bit of trouble because of my shaking fingers so he helped me to undo the rest.

Before I even really knew what was happening, the two of us were standing there, scantily clad and shaking in each others arms. I realized then that he was just as scared and uncertain as I was.

Deciding that he needed to make the first move, Zekk scooped me up into his arms and carried me over to his bed where he dropped me non-too gently.

"Uumph," escaped my lips as I hit the firm mattress beneath me.

"Sorry," he said, a look of embarrassment crossing his face.

"It's okay," I replied while scooting over so that he would have a place to sit down. Taking his hand in mine, I leaned over to kiss him but at the same time he was leaning up and we bumped heads. "Ouch," we said at the same time.

A small laugh escaped Zekk's throat. "I'm afraid tonight might be a bit of a bumbly affair."

"Yeah," I said. At least my nerves were calming down some. Well, they were _starting _to calm down until he ran his hands up my sides and reached behind me to unclasp my bra.

I closed my eyes as he removed the thin material, and I could feel my face turning pink. Slowly peeling one eye open to gauge his reaction, I noticed that he looked just as red and embarrassed as me.

"Um, have I ever told you that you're really beautiful Jaina?"

That kind of surprised me. I actually couldn't recall a time when he had ever said those words, and the fact that he had chosen to for the first time now while I sat half naked before him made me feel kind of strange.

He must have felt my discomfort because he added, "Well, you are. You are the most beautiful girl I know."

Girl. That word sat kind of oddly with me. I was sixteen years old. Did that still leave me a girl, or was I a woman? I wasn't quite sure, but I decided that I must be somewhere in between. But Zekk was definitely a man. I had seen my two scrawny brothers with their shirts off before and neither one of them looked anything like Zekk. His muscles were large and hard and ominous looking.

"You okay?" he asked, concern filling his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said quickly. Am I fine?

Nodding his head, Zekk continued. Before I knew it, we were both lying beneath the thin sheet on his bed, all of our underclothes scattered on the floor. I had kept my gaze focused on a small dent in the wall the entire time we undressed. Zekk's eyes didn't once leave my figure.

Brushing the hair out of my eyes, Zekk leaned down and kissed me gently. A little uncertain of what he expected me to do, I let him guide me. Soon he was lying down on top of me, crushing my small body with his large one.

I was just beginning to get used to the feel of his weight against me when a jolt of pain shot through my body. It must have been evident on my face because Zekk immediately stopped and asked if I was all right.

Nodding an affirmative, I closed my eyes. He continued in deeper and this time I cried out, tears escaping my closed lids. No one had said it would hurt like this. Zekk stopped once more and brushed away my tears. He asked if I wanted to leave, but I slowly shook my head no. He had been looking forward to tonight so much and I wasn't going to take that away from him.

Over the next several minutes we slowly and sloppily did what so many refer to as making love. While I knew that I loved Zekk, I didn't understand the reference when it came to this act. Yes, it brought us closer together physically, but emotionally it was like I could feel us slowly slipping further apart.

I could hear Zekk crying out, and I felt him collapse atop of me, but it was like I was somewhere else, watching myself lose my innocence. As we laid there together, sweaty and gross in the aftermath of the deed, a thought occurred to me. I was sixteen, and while that was old enough to feel love and to bask in its radiance, maybe I was still too young for this act which was supposed to bring people together in the most perfect way.

**So...what do you think? Like I said before there will only be a couple of posts for this fic but I would still like to get plenty of feedback. (Constructive criticism is always welcome, but no flames please). **


	2. Revelations

**Thanks to InsaneJediGirl and DogDemon4040 for reviewing. I greatly appreciate it!**

**Part 2- Revelations**

I felt dirty. Physically, yes, since I was covered in a mixture of mine and Zekk's sweat, but emotionally as well. I knew that if my parents found out about what had happened they would be angry with me. Even worse, I was afraid that they would be ashamed of me. I had spent my whole life trying to be perfect. Daddy's little girl, Mom's helper, representative of the New Republic, and a strong Jedi. But now I felt like all of that had been done in vain. I wasn't perfect anymore, not even close.

Shifting a bit in the uncomfortable bed, I noticed that Zekk had fallen asleep. That was probably for the best since I needed to leave. I had to find a way to get back to my room without anyone seeing me.

Carefully getting out of the bed while trying not to disturb its occupant, I stood up and began putting my clothes back on. Running my hands through my disheveled hair, I could tell that I looked like a mess. Praying that what I had just done was not blatantly obvious, I slowly and carefully snuck out of Zekk's bedroom.

Glancing up and down the corridor, I noted that no one was around and I began to walk back towards my room. When I was barely ten steps away, I could hear my brother's voice echoing down the hall. Overcome with panic, I ran the rest of the way and slammed my door behind me.

Finally within the safety of my small and messy chamber, I sank down the wall. For some reason tears were brimming in my eyes. Why am I crying? What happened tonight wasn't _that_ big of a deal, was it? No, I decided, it wasn't. But I knew I was lying to myself. Crawling into bed, not even bothering to remove my clothes, I fell asleep instantly.

Early the next morning I could hear Jacen stirring in his connecting room. Today he was leaving to go back to Coruscaunt with Uncle Luke while I was supposed to be going off with Aunt Mara. Just yesterday I had been ecstatic about leaving, but this morning all I wanted to do was lay in bed. I didn't feel well. While my body was sore, the worst pain I felt was in my heart. It ached.

Closing my eyes, I went back to sleep until I was once again awoken by a loud and quick knock on my door. Guessing that it was a few hours later, I figured that I had just missed breakfast. Oh well, I didn't feel much like eating.

"Jaina," I could hear my brother call. "Are you up yet?"

"No," I yelled back. "Go away."

But Jacen, being the wonderful twin brother that he is, opened the door and came bounding in anyways. "Nope. It is _way_ past time for you to be getting up. You and Mara are supposed to be leaving soon.

"Jacen, please just leave."

Noting that something was wrong, he sat down on the edge of my bed. "You okay Jaya?"

Not wanting to tell Jacen what was wrong, I simply sighed and murmured "Yeah," into my pillow.

But my twin knew me better than that. "Jaina, if something's wrong you can tell me."

"Nothing's wrong," I said. "I just don't feel so good." There, that should satisfy him.

"Do you want me to go get a medical droid?"

"No."

"You sure? What about Mom or Dad?"

"Jacen, all I want is for you to go away and stop bugging me," I snapped.

His hand swiftly recoiled from where it had been rubbing my back. I could feel his hurt coming through our twin bond, but I didn't really care. I just wanted to be left alone forever.

I could hear Jacen stand up and leave my room without another word. Happy to be alone again, I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

A couple hours later I was awoken once again by another knock on the door. This time I could feel the presence of Aunt Mara waiting patiently outside.

"I told Jacen that I didn't want to see anyone."

"No Jaina, you told him that you didn't want to see a medic or your parents. Quite frankly, I am none of those and I am coming in whether you like it or not."

Mara followed through on her threat and then she came and sat in the exact same spot that Jacen had vacated hours before. "Jaina what is wrong with you? We were supposed to have left an hour ago."

"Sorry, but I just don't feel up to it today."

"Jaina, last night you could barely contain your excitement about leaving and now all you want to do is stay? I understand that you're upset about leaving this place and all of your friends, but we have a job to do."

I listened to Mara say those words. She was right, of course. Mara was always right. "I know." Rolling over in bed, I continued, "I just wasn't feeling to great."

"I'm sorry to hear that Jaina, but if your feeling up to it, I would still like to leave some time today."

I considered that for a moment. If I left it would mean not seeing Zekk for several weeks, maybe months. Was that a good thing or a bad thing?

As if she had been reading my thoughts, Mara said, "Zekk has been asking for you this morning. I think he wanted a chance to say goodbye before we left. Maybe you should get up and go see him."

Nodding my head, I climbed out of bed. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Mara's reaction to the fact that I was still wearing the same clothes from the night before. She never missed anything.

"I guess I was more tired last night than I thought," I said, trying to explain my clothes.

"Uh huh," was all Mara said before she left my room.

About an hour later I was packing up my things into my aunt's ship. Without even having to look behind me I could feel Zekk approach. "Hey," he called out to my back.

Turning around slowly, I smiled a bit and yelled back.

"Where were you this morning? I woke up and you were gone, and then you never showed up for morning or midday meal."

"Yeah, I was tired."

"Oh," he said while he walked closer towards me. "I'm glad I caught you now then. Didn't want you to leave without getting a proper goodbye."

He kissed my forehead. I liked that. In fact, I loved it when he kissed me and when he hugged me. That always felt so sweet, so loving.

Glancing over his shoulder to make sure no one was around, he kissed me on the lips. He started off soft, but then he pressed his tongue in my mouth and demanded more. Still a little unwary, I matched pace. But then he trailed his hand up my side and touched my breast. Pulling away from his lips, I backed away a few steps.

Opening his eyes quickly, Zekk gave me an inquisitive look. "What's wrong? I thought that after last night it would be okay to-"

"It is," I said, cutting him off even though I wasn't sure if I _was_ okay with it. "I'm still getting used to all of this though."

"I know what you mean," he said with a smile. "I always knew that I loved you Jaina, but I had no idea until last night just how much love could mean. You completed me."

A smile slowly crossed my face and I took his hand. "I love you too."

Somehow, he seemed disappointed that that was all I said. Feeling like I had to add more, I continued, "You completed me too."

That brought a smile to his handsome face. "I can't wait until I see you again. I might just pick you up and make love to you right in front of everyone. No more sneaking around, how would that sound?"

Honestly, that sounded great. I wish I could just be with Zekk and feel perfect, the way I used to. I wish I didn't feel soiled and broken the way I did now. I wanted to scream out to the world that I loved him and that I was a woman now, but I couldn't. Because I was ashamed of _myself_.

**I hope all of my readers enjoyed it! Please, please, please review (it's a sin not to!). **


	3. Confession

**Here is the third section of this short story. I think when I'm done it will have five parts, but I'm not completely certain yet. **

**Confessions**

It was less than two hours later when Mara and I left. I think she could tell that something was wrong but she was insightful enough not to say anything. Taking my bag from me, she slung it over her shoulder and led me back to the cabin that would be mine for the next several weeks. "Here it is," she said as she tossed my things onto the small passenger bunk.

"Thanks," I mumbled while I walked in, trying to avoid her eyes.

But Mara was smarter than that. She followed me in and motioned for me to take a seat on the bed. "Jaina, I can't help getting the feeling that something's wrong. Is there anything that you would like to talk about?"

The bed groaned under my weight as I sat down. What was I supposed to say? That I slept with my boyfriend because I thought it was what I wanted? I thought it would bring us closer together, not rip me further apart. No, I couldn't say these things to her. She wouldn't understand. Mara had Uncle Luke and they both loved each other more than anything. "Nope. Everything's great."

I could tell by the look in her eyes that she didn't believe me one bit, but she was going to allow me to keep my secret. I could have hugged her for that. Instead I stood back up and forced a smile on my face. "So what are we waiting for? Let's blast out of here!"

Mara gave me one more skeptical look before she stood up as well and led the way to the cockpit. "You're going to be my co-pilot, right?"

"Of course." This time I gave her a real smile. I had been looking forward to this trip with my aunt for months and I wasn't going to let my incident with Zekk mess things up. I would be fine.

That night at dinner we ate ration bars because neither Mara nor I could cook without catching the entire ship on fire. I didn't mind though because I didn't really want her to try and bond with me while we made a mess- that was my mom's thing. Every once and a while she would set up a cooking date for the two of us and we would slave in the kitchen for hours and come out with nothing more to show for it than a lot of dirty dishes. It was her way of showing me that she "cared" enough to actually pay me some attention. But right now I didn't want anyone's attention. I would have been perfectly happy sinking straight into the ground.

Tonight Mara had other plans though. "As excited as I am to be going off with you right now Jaina, I have to admit that leaving your uncle again is killing me."

I had to give her credit- it was a good starter but I knew where she was going with it. Deciding I would be a good little apprentice and would play along, I said, "Really? I'm sure he is feeling the same way right now. I think it's been really hard on him not having you around at the academy lately."

"I know," she said and I could have sworn I saw a guilty look on her face. "Teaching a bunch of kids on a humid jungle moon just isn't really my thing though. He understood, but I know it made him sad to not have me there with him. But it was part of the deal when we got married. That's what love is though- compromise. If you truly love someone you will do anything to make them happy."

I listened silently as Mara talked. She really was an intelligent woman. I could see why my uncle married her.

"What about you Jaina? From what I hear you and Zekk have become pretty close over the last few years. How is that coming?"

I knew that she was getting around to this, and I was pretty sure that she knew that _I_ knew that this was what she wanted to talk about. "It's good. We are close in a lot of ways. I'm really going to miss him." It was true. One of the few things that I did know for sure was that my heart was already aching for him. But I wanted the old Zekk. The one who would give me a bit of a shy look before he kissed me, and who would hold my hand under the table in the mess hall because he wanted to be close to me.

"I bet. First love must be hard."

Curious, I looked up from my ration bar long enough to catch her eye. "What was your first love like?"

Mara gave a laugh of mirth before she answered, "Well, he was a dashingly handsome farmboy who heroically saved the galaxy. But it wasn't love at first sight, of course. In fact, my first instinct was to kill him. I have to say I am very glad now that I didn't end up following through on all of my threats. Still, it took me years to realize that love was right there in front of me. My only regret is that we didn't admit our feelings sooner."

"Are you serious?" I asked, genuinely shocked by her answer. "Uncle Luke was your first love?"

"Yes, Jaina, he was. Now don't get me wrong, over the years I have had flings and what not, but I had never felt for any man the way I feel for your uncle."

A sinking feeling began to fill me from the pit of my stomach, but I knew that I had to ask. "Aunt Mara, if you don't mind can I ask you something really personal?"

"Of course Jaina."

"Was Uncle Luke…your first?"

She was quiet for a few moments. I think I had actually surprised her with this one. "Jaina, I wish I could say he was. I've made some…mistakes in my past. There are things that I have done that I'm not proud of."

"What do you mean?"

I could tell that it was hard for her to tell me this, but she seemed determined to get it out. "Back when I served the Emperor I used all of my tools for my advantage. That included my body. I was younger than you the first time I slept with a man to get information from him. At the time I thought it would be no big deal, but I regretted that first time for years. By the time the Emperor died I had nothing left- not even my dignity. I was so lost and confused that the idea of having sex with a man because I loved him was a completely foreign concept. I remember being completely terrified on our wedding night because in many ways I was still like a virgin."

I was stunned by her words. "Does Uncle Luke know about all of that?"

She smiled at me a bit for reassurance. "Yes. I came clean to him not long after we got engaged. And you know what? He completely accepted it. Your uncle is a great man. He never judges people, no matter what their past. In fact, I think that night after I told him I fell even more in love." Mara reached over and grasped my hand. "We don't live in a fairytale world of romance, Jaina. Sometimes first experiences aren't perfect like everyone expects. That's not real life."

I flinched at her words. Did she know?

"And it's okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them."

"Aunt Mara," I said, tears welling in my eyes. "I think I've made a mistake."

She stood up from her side of the table and walked over to sit next to me. Enveloping me in a warm hug, she asked, "Are you ready to talk about it now?"

I nodded my head as the tears began to stream down my face. "It happened. Last night after the party I went to Zekk's room. We had been planning on doing it for a long time and I thought I was ready."

"Oh, sweetheart," she said as she brushed the tears from my cheeks.

Sniffling loudly, I continued. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I guess it just wasn't what I expected. I love him so much, but now I feel like last night was more about the sex to him than it was about me."

"Jaina, you are so young and I just don't think that you were emotionally ready for something like that. Zekk is eighteen. He's an adult and he has adult feelings towards you. But you both need to realize that in many ways you are still a kid, and there is no reason for you to be rushing into an intimate relationship. Believe me Jaina, I know what it's like to have your childhood stolen from you. You deserve better."

"But it's too late now. We've already done it."

"No Jaina, it's never to late to start over. You need to talk to Zekk and tell him how you feel. If he loves you then he will understand. And one day when you are older you will be ready. And when that day comes it will be the happiest moment of your life, I guarantee it."

"Thanks Aunt Mara," I said with one final sniffle.

"I think you just needed a shoulder to cry on. And just so you know, I'll always be here for you. Growing up is hard and I don't want you to have to go through it all alone like I did."

I went to bed that night feeling like a giant weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I had spilled my heart out to Mara and she had understood. The knowledge that I was not the only one who had ever felt like this was such a great relief. As I drifted off to sleep, I noted that my only problem now was trying to find a way to tell Zekk how I felt.

**So…did you like? Drop me a review and tell me what you thought. I'll try to have the next part up soon.**


	4. Confrontation

**Neo-Paladin- **Thanks! I'm glad you're reading.

**InsaneJediGirl- **Thanks. I was thinking that if Jaina was going to confide in someone it would have to be someone other than her mother.

**Sorry for the long wait everybody, but here is part four:**

**Confrontation**

It was three months later before Mara and I returned to Coruscaunt. She was dropping me off back home to stay with my parents while she went on a bodyguard mission for some dignitary or another. I've always had trouble keeping things like that straight.

While I was excited about going home to see my family, I was nearly sick with dread at the thought of having to see Zekk again. Earlier that week he had left me a message on my comm saying he couldn't wait for me to get back so that he could show me how much he missed me. Just the thought of his words sent shivers up and down my spine.

"You okay?" I heard my aunt's strong voice say from behind me.

Turning to face her, I forced a smile onto my face. "Yeah. I'm fine, why?"

Mara sat down at her customary seat in the galley. "Because you don't seem too fine." I think should could smell my inhibitions, because she continued, "Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we will be arriving on Coruscaunt in the morning."

To my credit, my face remained an emotionless mask. "And why would that bother me? I'm looking forward to seeing my family again."

After a moment or two of silence, I figured that she had decided to drop the subject. But then Mara placed her hand on my shoulder and said, "Because of him."

The two of us had not spoken of Zekk since that first night when I had broken down. It had been like an unwritten rule between us not to bring the matter up. Still, I knew that eventually she would. "I miss Zekk too. In fact, I miss him a lot."

"But you're afraid to see him." The way she said it, it wasn't a question.

Nodding my head, I gave in. "What am I going to say to him? Sorry, I love you but I can't make love with you? He'll drop me in less than a second."

"Jaina, if he cares about you as much as he says he does, then he will understand. Love is based on more than just sex. You have to be able to trust him, and he has to be able to respect your boundaries. And if he really is the Zekk I know, he will understand."

"I hope so," I mumbled under my breath. "I don't think I can handle loosing him right now."

Mara stood up and walked to a food prep machine. I watched as she began the process of making hot chocolate. "Promise me something, Jaina."

That startled me a bit. "If I can."

"Don't give in to him just because you think you should."

It was as if she had stolen the thought directly from my head. Over the past three months I had been trying to convince myself that I was overreacting. That I was being a baby. All I wanted was to be able to be normal and give him everything he wanted. I almost had myself convinced. "I won't."

The smile she offered me from across the room was filled with warmth and love. I knew then that my words were true and I would stand my ground no matter what.

The next morning I was awoken early by what originally felt like a tingling sensation in my gut. I first passed it off as nerves, but then realized that it was Zekk's force presence brushing against mine. We were there.

A short time later I was busy unpacking my things in my old bedroom. If felt nice to be back in my childhood home. Everything seemed more pure and innocent here.

After settling in and having evening meal with my family, I set out to find Zekk. We needed to talk.

It didn't take me long to reach his small home in the underlevels of Coruscaunt. His apartment was old and falling apart, but everything in it was clean and well taken care of. I had many fond memories of this place.

Softly I knocked on the front door, and seconds later it was thrown open. A pair of strong arms grasped me around the waist and lifted me into the air; twirling me around. I couldn't stop a small laugh from escaping my throat. I missed this man.

Kissing me softly before setting me completely on the floor again, Zekk smiled. "I've missed you so much."

"I can tell." My smile was still firmly plastered on my face.

"You want to come in? Old Pekhum is gone for the next couple of days so I have the place to myself."

I could hear the anticipation in his voice. He had been looking forward to this day for months. "Um, sure." I followed him through the front door and into the small living area. Taking a seat on a small chair, I pretended to be intently studying my finger nails.

"How was your time with Mara?"

"It was good. I learned a lot. She even let me fly her ship every now and then."

"Astral! It sounds like you had a great time."

I nodded while avoiding his eyes. "What about you?"  
"I haven't done too much. Spent some time with your brothers getting into trouble. The usual."

I smiled at that. There was nothing Zekk could do better than get into trouble. It seemed to migrate towards him. Maybe that was why my mother was always so hesitant about me spending so much time around him.

Taking my hand in his, Zekk tilted my chin up to look in my eyes. "Is everything okay?" I could feel his concern not only in his words but through the Force.

"Yeah," I lied. "Everything's great."

Satisfied with my response, he stood back up and pulled on my hand. "Here. Come with me."

_Oh no_, I thought to myself as I followed him back through the small apartment. He led me to what I knew was his bedroom, but I was surprised by what I saw inside of it.

There was a bouquet of slightly wilted flowers and a couple of lit candles. Despite the awkwardness of the situation, I couldn't help but feel loved by his kind gesture. "These are beautiful," I said as I picked up the flowers.

"They looked better when I got them this morning, but I wasn't sure when you would be arriving, so-"

"They're great."

"Well I think you're great."

His comment made my blush and I cast my gaze back down at the ground. I could feel his hands on my shoulders and his lips pressing against my neck. "I love you," he whispered in my ear as he slid my shirt straps of my arm.

I was lost for a moment or two in the feeling of his touch. He loved me, so shouldn't I just give him what he wanted? His hands continued down as they met my zipper and began to pull.

"No."

"What?" he asked, sounding extremely confused. "Is everything okay?"

I turned to face him. "No, it's not. Zekk, I don't think I can do this."

"What do you mean?"

I could see the hurt in his eyes and I pulled him down to sit with me on the bed. "Do…this. I'm really sorry, but I'm not ready for this kind of relationship."

"But before-"

My cheeks were on fire. "I think before may have been a mistake."

Zekk's pain washed over me in waves. "A mistake? But we made love. How could that have been a mistake?"

"I wasn't ready."

"Do you love me?"

My heart beat several times before I answered. "Not like that. Not yet."

Zekk stood up from his bed and walked forward. I could see the tension in his movement. Suddenly, he punched the wall hard.

A little cry escaped my throat at the sight and I hopped up and ran towards him.

As soon as my hands touched him, Zekk shrugged me away. He blew out the few candles that were set on his desk and left the room.

"Zekk," I called after him. "Where are you going?"

He didn't answer me; just kept walking. I followed him through the living area and into the small kitchen where he stopped. He had run out of places to go. Turning sharply, he stared into my eyes. "Why did you let me do it then?"

I don't know what I was expecting, but that wasn't it. "I'm sorry Zekk. If you really want to, then we can do it again."

"That wasn't what I asked."

How was I going to answer him? "Because," I started slowly, "I thought it was what I wanted. It was what _you_ wanted."

His eyes filled with tears before me. "You gave up your virginity just because you thought I wanted you to?"

My mouth opened, but he continued.

"I wanted to be with you because I loved you. I just wanted to show you how much. I never knew you weren't ready."

"Zekk, it's my fault. I was afraid of losing you."

"Jaina," he said as his first tear fell. "You will never lose me. I love you too much to let you go. But I don't think I can live with what I've done. I hurt you."

"No. No, Zekk, it was my decision to be with you that night. I could have told you to stop at any time and you would have gladly. That was my mistake and I have to live with it."

He took my hand in his and began to speak but stopped. He let me continue. "I love you Zekk, but I'm only sixteen. I'm not ready for that type of adult relationship yet. All I want is for everything to go back to the way things were."

Squeezing my hand, he said softly, "Okay. If that is what you want, then I will do anything for you."

I smiled up at him and for the first time that day willingly gazed into his bright green eyes.

**Well? Whatcha think? Lukers, please send me a review! One more chapter to go.**


	5. Completion

**InsaneJediGirl- Thanks!**

**gamrwraith-** _Your fic is doing what the movies briefly brushed upon and what the books avoided like the plague: genuine humanization of the Lucas characters. Well done. _**Wow. Thanks.**

**Neo-Paladin- Thanks. I was trying to make everything appear honest.**

**Elorinna Evenstarre- I'm glad you liked it!**

**Alright, this is the end. I hope you have all enjoyed this fic. This one has minor spoilers for the NJO and the Dark Nest trilogy. Nothing too major though.  
**

**Completion**

Ten years have passed since the day I lost my innocence to the young man who had always held my heart. Lots has happened in the past decade, and while my feeling for Zekk have been tried and tested, they have never changed. We've been through so much, together and apart, but somehow my heart always points me back in his direction.

Take the Vong war for example. We went for years without seeing much of each other, and then all of a sudden we were thrust into the Myrkr mission together. I was eighteen at the time and more confused than ever about my feelings for him. After we left the academy, Zekk and I never officially broke up, so I felt really bad when I started to have feelings for Jagged Fel.

I'm still not sure what drove me away from Zekk and straight to Jag. Maybe it was the excitement and thrill of being with a new person. Maybe it was the fact that when I needed him most, Zekk abandoned me on Hapes. I was angry with him for a long time about that, but then I realized that the reason he left was because he was scared of falling to the Dark with me. He knew that it would have to be someone else to bring me back; someone stronger. It's safe to say that he probably didn't think that person would be Jag though.

I remember talking with Zekk one day not long after my relationship with Jag began. He seemed politely interested in the new direction my life had taken, but I could see and feel the hurt in his eyes. He didn't have to say the words, but I could tell. He still loved me.

The last few years of the war went by. I was still happily with Jag, but I didn't see Zekk all that often any more. This made me sad to think that all of our years of friendship could have been for nothing.

When the war ended, so did my relationship with Jag. Although we had promised to keep in touch and visit whenever we got the chance, I knew that things would never be the same. He had a life in Csillia, and I needed to be with the Jedi. We did meet up a few times in some rather romantic locations, as promised, but things were different. I was gradually growing apart, but not just from Jag. My relationships with everyone I knew were changing. Cilghal said I was suffering from a post-traumatic stress disorder, but I wasn't sure if that was the answer.

I spent the next several years being a good little Jedi; righting wrongs and fixing people's problems. Yet I couldn't seem to get over my own. On a sudden impulse, I went along with the other young Jedi from the Myrkr mission to help an insect race known as the killiks that were living near Chiss space.

This was the first time I had seen Zekk in a while. We were cordial to each other at first, but as our stay with the killiks grew longer and more intense, we became closer. The two of us decided to stay behind with the hive while all of the others left with my uncle Luke.

During our stay there, Zekk and I became Joiners. We were so close that we could literally hear what the other was thinking. Although my first instinct have been to resist, I can now tell that I am slowly falling back in love with him.

We have been gone from the hive several months now. It has been extremely difficult; as if we were forced to leave a member of our family, but we are suffering together.

Like I have on many occasions lately, I now walk towards his room at the new Jedi Academy. Today has been especially hard, and I am in desperate need of his comfort.

He is at the door before I have a chance to knock; he knew I was coming. He smiles and puts his arms around me as I enter the room.

"How are you?"

"Better, now that-"

"you're here?" he finished for me. We've been completing each other's sentences often lately.

"Yes." I glance around the small chamber. It's small and messy, but comforting in a way. This was Zekk.

"Do you want to talk?"

I nod and he ushers me over to the bed where we take a seat. I flash back to ten years before, the last time we were in a situation such as this. "Zekk, I've been thinking."

"About what?"

"Us," I say quietly. He takes my hand in his and starts to gently rub it. "There is something I have to tell you."

A smile grows on his face. He knows what I am about to say. "And that is?"

I take a deep breath in preparation. This has been a long time in coming. "I love you."

He continues rubbing my hands and doesn't say a word for several minutes. I'm afraid that maybe I was wrong; maybe he didn't feel the same way about me anymore.

His gaze slowly meets mine. "I've been waiting for ten years to hear you say those words." He brushes his fingers against my cheek and I feel as if I am going to melt. "Jaina," he murmurs softly before he presses his soft lips against mine.

Our kiss is slow and loving, yet hot and passionate at the same time. His hand grazes down my arm and settles against my hip. My skin where his fingertips touch feels as if it is on fire.

I pull away slowly from his kiss, and I can feel and hear his disappointment. I only smile in response as I reach my hands to my chest and slowly unzip my flight suit.

His eyes grow large as he realizes my intentions. We are no longer children, and I am no longer afraid. It has taken time, but our love has slowly grown and blossomed.

Taking my hand in his, Zekk forces me to meet his gaze. "Are you sure about this?"

His words echo in my head. He asked this very same question ten years ago. Then I answered wrong. I was too young to understand that there would be consequences to our actions.

"Yes." I smile and his relief is displayed on his face. "I'm ready this time."

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